At some point or another I start to feel like I need to distance my self from other or maybe certain people. distance maybe meaning not seeing what people are up to or doing out of sight out of mind. im not 100% sure why it is that I feel this way or if I even have a valid reason. but my main reason is the for lack of a better word or two letters is bs. I just don’t feel connected to people through a screen I mean it’s cool to see what they are up to aka be nosy I guess or be interested or exposed to others different ways but at some point it becomes a bit annoying I guess. for some reason I feel a certain veil like im looking at the screen through a veil. on Facebook I get requests from people I used to know either in school or on my adventures roaming the streets and I don’t have any interest in approving them or requesting them. some people really are up to the same old shit almost as if they are suspended in time in the same place in the same things with the same face. I don’t know how people can live like that or rather i can’t relate to it. because one perspective is not greater than the other and all that….
but idk, another reason would have to be that when you are far away from people who you were or are close with there is always a feeling of uh whats the opposite of priority.. inferiority.. google it because I did lol nvm here;s the definition
“the condition of being lower in status or quality than another or others.” that seems like a perfect fit for what my feelings fall in line. especially when you are talking to someone and they just never seem to have time to talk to you unless they have nothing else to do, need something to do , or need to ease their conscious for being inconsiderate self-interested dick . and really those few people who fall under that area are the only reason you keep a social account for but I mean for what? in the end all you end up seeing is how they are constantly on their phone and you know first hand they are on their phone but can seem to respond to you which is bs it makes you or rather me, like shit how unimportant how unappreciated are you really? and who really needs to feel that fucking way anyways ? who needs to be constantly reminded of a part of life you can’t exactly pick up and continue and how replaceable you were hmmm I guess in the end I have two reasons right?
well another reason I have a Facebook is for my estranged father I have never met but seems to pop up when he feels like it or feels like I need to constantly reassure him I want some type of contact or involvement in my life.
I should focus on my self and the connections that are a bit more tangible. connections that are actually concerning all around. I will most likely end up deleting my Facebook sooner than later. And trust me I get that people live their own lives and have things to do and blah blah blah oh and that people aren’t perfect but the older I get the more I realize all that is just a bunch of bs excuses to not hold people accountable and enable them to keep on acting the same shitty way towards you even others. I mean we always find time and manage to make time and go out of our way for things we actually care about right? always! You know there is a saying something about like ships relationships eventually run their course……. or maybe i just made it up , maybe that’s whats happening ? what’s the point of dragging a long these connections that make you feel and think this way? all relationships are hard right? but you know what thinking about it, io should just let them run their course. forget all my continuous ruminating over connections that have already ended or are barely there. focus more on new ones and such and such…. i mean not necessarily cut cords but just let them be
I’ve tried to just shrug it off and just accept things as they are but my feelings have just been nagging me to explore these feelings and maybe realize something deeper something true… and I guess I did right? just let things be out of mind out of sight. Don’t try so hard or feel like i need ti keep up with others when it just winds up bothering me. And stop joining social media too! lol focus on the new relationships that are presenting their selves. If not fudge everybody because In the end I only need Alex standing by my side! I’m sure things will get better once he’s not working two jobs.
My feelings are not intended to hurt anyone but in case they did i do not apologize 🙂
This is just a rant so excuse all the errors lol any thoughts comment bellow.
P.s!! don’t ever be afraid or second guess yourself when it comes to letting go of things people or places that do not contribute to your well being. Now that doesn’t mean only be surrounded by people who benefit you at all!
Find the ones that least annoy you 🙂
Your extra extra extra casual friend
I do not own any of the images used in this post, All credit goes to the maker.